Sunday, June 6, 2010

kenya bound, part II

I'm not sure how to explain my decision to go to Kenya, especially without being long-winded. I could share numerous small things that led up to and then confirmed this decision, which seems, at least to me, so unlike me to make. On the surface, I think I'm a pretty unlikely candidate for a mission trip to a region of Africa that only gets one hit (about sponsoring a child) when you do a google search because it's so out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere. I've been camping, in-a-tent-type of camping, once before in my life and wasn't a huge fan. I feel ill-equipped to share the gospel with people from another culture; I've never been to seminary or taken any kind of classes about "this is the way you share your faith" and currently know very very little about the culture of the people I'll be meeting. I'm a recovering worry-wort. I have never been overseas, unless you count our honeymoon in St. Lucia, which was hardly what you would consider "roughing it." I'm a home-body. I thought I wanted to go on a vacation to Ireland this summer. I don't like being away from my darling husband. I'm not a big risk-taker. I'm an introvert and am unsure of myself when meeting new people. I'm not a good public speaker when the audience is comprised of adults.

I could go on and on and on about why I'm not a good candidate for this trip. My purpose in emphasizing my inadequacy is to let you know that this decision must have, had to have, come from the Lord. All of these short-comings are my offering to Him. This is me, putting myself in the offering plate, knowing full well that I am nothing without Him. I must decrease that He might increase. I don't know what will happen when, Lord willing, I find myself in a tent out in the African savannah less than 6 weeks from now. But I do know that any good thing, any slightly, remotely good thing, that comes from me going on this trip will come from God alone, not from me. Who am I, that I should go? I am so humbled to know all of these reasons that I'm not the one who should be going, and yet to believe that God is sending me anyway. Words from "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" echo in my mind as I remember having the privilege of singing them many times over with my students this year:

1 comments:

Carlos R said...

Very cool post! So glad you've decided to come with us, this will be an amazing trip!