Sunday, September 6, 2020

too deep for words


As a person who is wired to take everything in through my head first (hello, #enneagram5 #enneagram6 and #enneagram7 !) , I’m learning about the importance of integrating my body and heart. We live in a culture that conflates truth with facts, but truth is so much greater than logic. Truth is facts, science, experiences, beauty, feelings, intuition, and many perspectives taken together as a whole. 


The existence of a flower communicates a holistic truth that includes the facts and science explaining its parts and their functions, but there is also truth in its beauty, the way it smells and feels to the touch, the way it makes feel, and the memories it triggers when we encounter it. 


My inclination is to figure out the logic behind my illogical reactions. When I got time and space to be alone and sit with God, I saw Romans 8:26: 


“In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.”

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My scattered thoughts had been reaching for order and meaning to no avail, and I knew this was the verse I needed to pray. I knew in my spirit that there were things “too deep for words” that were tender. Once I realized I didn’t need to figure anything out, but instead, just allow, I felt the Spirit asking for my permission to come into the deep place within me that was aching. I agreed, and my emotions subsided. My heart filled with a deep contentment, and my spirit was at peace.


If you, like I, get caught up in the frustration of trying to make sense of your emotions when they are coming from a place that is “too deep for words,” the Spirit may be inviting you to rest and allow Jesus to heal those places that reside far beneath the surface. When the time is right for order and sense-making, I am here for it, but I’m learning to recognize that some moments call for allowing that is bathed in self-compassion. May you find rest and healing in the places that are too deep for words. 

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